Anna Turner- Public displays of affection | Canterbury Opinion | Local Voices from Canterbury, New Zealand

I like to live my life by a few simple rules.

Never go to the supermarket hungry. Always check the backseat for an axe-wielding murderer before driving away.

And never kiss with tongue in public.

PDA - public displays of affection.

It's a controversial topic. Some people like to put it all on display, not caring who can see their sloppy, carefree loving.

Others, like me, prefer not to display my most intimate moments to the entire world.

Trust me, I'm not a prude. Whatever you want to do behind closed doors is 100 per cent fine with me, as long as I don't have to accidently bear witness to it.

Which is exactly what happened last weekend.

I was going for a swim at a public pool, happily minding my own business. Suddenly, in the lane next to me - centimetres away from my face I might add - a young couple began a full-on PDA fest.

Hands and tongues were going everywhere. They were creating a frenzied whirlpool and didn't care who saw.

By the time I got out of the pool my eyes were burning - and not from the chlorine.

Some things just don't need to be seen.

It's not that I mind all displays of affection in public. Hugging, holding hands, sweet (but PGR) gestures - that's all perfectly acceptable.

But open mouth, tongue kissing is where I draw the line.

Recently, I went round to the house of a couple I know to watch a DVD. The three of us sat down on the couch to watch the flick, but about 30 minutes in they started making out with such intensity it seemed they actually wanted to cause permanent damage to each other's faces.

Now, they're a cute couple, and usually I find the sweet way in which they treat each other endearing.

But the squishy sound of their kissing in the dark while I awkwardly sat there wondering how to act was just too much.

I know you'll say that the people actually committing PDA offences are trapped in a love-bubble - blissfully unaware of the uncomfortable feeling they're causing in others.

You might even call me bitter.

But I've been in love - for the last four years in fact - and I can honestly say I don't think I've ever done anything in public that I wouldn't do in front of my Grandma. It's just not necessary. Well, not while sober anyway; drunken PDA has it's own set of rules.

Of course, then there's the whole argument of what constitutes public and private- but that's another matter entirely. Just ask John Key. 

*What are your views on public displays of affection? Comment below or email Anna Turner.