Trudi's Diary | Canterbury News | Local News in Canterbury

The Christchurch Star continues the diary of Trudi Johnston, 25, who has an incurable brain tumour and has been in hospital for more than two months.

Christmas week:

Well my mental health is wearing a little thin and I have had enough of the hospital setting. It has been two and a half months since this whole awful experience began and I really feel like I need to be at home. The next day I get my wish and just in the nick of time as my ward is struck down with a virus. I get my PiCC line (a centralised line that is placed in my arm and leads to my main artery) they put this in so that if I need fluids quickly I can be easily accessible. Also they are having so much trouble with blood tests that it is a Godsend as I don't get battered and bruised and it can be done with one go instead of the standard five or six tries! Home at Mum and Dad's is fantastic ? there is no place like home.

I am very fortunate to have such a great parents and honestly I don't know where I would be without my mum, the amount of mood swings and frustrations that we go through, but always get through to the other side.

Travelling into radiotheraphy (radio) and physiotherapy every day is incredibly wearing. But still I feel I am improving in physiotherapy on a daily basis. Mum and I shop every afternoon this week to finish off our Christmas shopping; a woman's shopping is never finished!

I am feeling pretty average; long winks are part of my daily routine. Christmas Eve sees me at the flat, which is brilliant as I haven't been back there since October 9.

I enjoy being back at my humble abode? The rails are placed in the bathroom so I am able to shower and go to the toilet with ease ? which is great as the more independence I have the more improved I feel.

Abi and Hamish, Kate and Ryan, Darryl, Ruth and I spend two and a half hours of taking turns at wearing a flashing Santa hat and passing out presents. I am incredibly spoilt by my gorgeous mates. It feels so magnificent to be back to a bit of my old life again that got ripped so rapidly away from me.

Dad picks me up in the morning, and we pick up Grandad who scrubs all our Oamaru new potatoes for lunch. I head off to bed and sleep through the family meal; it is a much needed rest after my fantastic night at the flat. At 5pm I rise and mum, dad and I exchange our gifts. I also receive a digital camera from CCF, which I am overwhelmed with. The money raised from the Radioworks "Close Shave" head shaving last month made it possible for cancer patients to receive some Christmas presents. CanTeen and CCF have a great relationship. We both appreciate and understand each other, which is extremely important for referrals so we as CanTeen can aim to support all cancer patients between 13 and 24. Week after Christmas:

The stat days I have off radiotherapy and physiotherapy so it is great not to have to head into the hospital every day. I enjoy having relaxing, lazy days watching dvds and enjoying my visitors. Aunty Anna and Michelle arrive up for a break and bring me a Highlanders signed rugby jersey which was organised by some of her workmates at the Mill in Oamaru.

A very nice gesture and I wear it with pride as you cannot take "the Otago" out of the girl.

New Year:

Chantelle and Mark, Ruth and I dine out at Abi's work for New Year tea, extremely appetising might I add! Then Ruth and I managed to push ourselves to watch a few episodes of Sex and the City session six.

I make it to bed just before midnight.

New Year's Day we had a barbeque at the flat with the gang, with everyone eating and drinking to their hearts content. It's a great start to 2005 ? a year that has to be better that the past one!

I think it is rather ironic that the first day of the year my hair starts to fall out. Depending on where the radiotherapy is placed on your body, and in my case the left side of my head, the hair can fall out. This loss can be permanent or temporary. Fingers crossed for the latter.

The treatment is painless and is very similar to having an X-ray taken. I have a mask that protects the other areas of my head. It only takes 10min a session. Sometimes I wish it would take longer as I lie down, close my eyes and rest.

I believe in mind power even though sometimes it is so hard to be positive ? but every radio session for the whole 10min I say "THIS WILL WORK!"

My balance and walking is improving ? two good things to start the New Year. I have been finding it hard to be my normal inspirational self but advances like this make it easier.

Kath and Ang take me along to Oceans 12. And Chantelle, Ruth and Abi take me to Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and of course some shopping at the Palms. Week after New Year:

The hair is really starting to fall out and my scalp is getting itchy ? a common side-effect from radiotherapy to the head. I try not to scratch and wake up every morning to a pillow full of hair. I have the statutory days off again, which means I have a double dose of radiotherapy on Thursday. This makes the day long and tiring, as the sessions have to be hours apart.

I wake in the morning to a nice breakfast with my big bro Ryan and his partner Wanda, who flew down the night prior from Hamilton. It is so good to see my bro. Last time he visited I can't remember a lot as it was my first week of being in hospital.

Ryan and Wanda take me into radio and physio and then we meet the parents at Riccarton Mall. We have lunch and then convoy down to Oamaru.

We arrive at Grandad and Lorraine's and decide to go get their favourite Oama's takeaway ? Subway! Oh and the Johnstons lads get mutton pies as well.

We stay at good friends of the family's house while they are away. The morning sees friends and family visiting.

Cousin Carmel performs her skills on me and makes me look stunning for the wedding and I wear my flash new wig.

The weather is shocking it is supposed to be an outside wedding but the rain puts a stop to that. Sonia and Robert look incredible and it is a pleasant small wedding that goes off without a hitch. Sippy and the girls look after me making sure I am watered and have plenty of Oamaru new potatoes ? yummy! And chocolate cake.

I feel normal in the social world so to speak. I don't like using the word normal but I am starting to feel a bit like my self again. I have a brilliant night's sleep. On Sunday we have a nice family lunch at the Mullallys. We eat then have a typical McNamara game of cricket in the backyard. We then drive back to Christchurch.

# To contact CanTeen, the New Zealand teenage cancer patient's society, call (03) 377 3028, write to PO Box 4613, Christchurch, or send an email to canterbury@canteen.org.nz